Trials

Todays been a rough day. My Chiari symptoms have all been in full force and it's just exhausting. I'm not here to complain but to simply be human. So much of me wants to just curl up and cry and beg for it all to go away. People often ask me if I ever say "Why me" and to be honest I do ask that a lot...but not in the way that you think. I ask God "Why are you using me and what are you teaching me?". If I didnt learn and grow from this, I am not living, I am truly just existing. I know that there is a reason for all of this and I know that I have been connecting with people b/c of it and that does make it worth it. I talked to a lady about a year ago who had a son who was severely brain damaged and she was so angry with God but b/c I could relate to having a brain condition and dealing with doctors and all of that, she listened to me and her heart seemed to soften. We had such a powerful but sweet conversation and she had tears in her eyes when it was over. She couldnt argue with my testimony and thats all I could offer her. I dont know how her son is today and I may not ever see her again but I know that in that moment, she had hope. People also ask "how do you go through this every day" and the answer is so simple. The joy of the Lord is my strength. We ALL have our own trials and they are all big to us. My sister has something called Sjograns Disease which affects all the moisture producing glands...eyes, etc. She has also developed arthritis in her hands. She has two precious little boys and one day she may not be able to hold their hands as tight as she can now. I get emotional just thinking about that, but that is her trial and she IS ministering to people because of it. The joy of the Lord is HER strength. There is a lady who I have spoken of on here before from our church who has Lukemia and from her medicine has now developed tinitus...CONSTANT ringing in her ears. This goes on while she is trying to sleep, pray, work, worship...yet every Sunday she is counseling people who walk down front and she always has such a smile on her face. When I see her singing and praying, I can't help but think that while I am hearing pure music and singing, she is hearing the sound of crickets yet she is so full of joy. That is HER trial and she has touched so many people. I could go on and on about people who have been given trials but choose to use them to bring glory to God. He didnt allow this to happen b/c we didnt something wrong, it's because He trusts us to do something right with it. I am commited to doing that. There are also stories we could all share of people throwing their opportunities away but for now, i want to encourage you to use the trials you are given, no matter how small they are "compared to other peoples" and bring honor to His name. If you will, leave a comment or encouragment, we could all use it!